I've been think a lot about the concept of 'home' recently. A few of my friends are settling down and buying their 'family home', the place where they plan to spend the next 30-odd years. Most of my friends have come from having a home where they lived their whole lives, where their parents still live. This is a completely foreign concept to me. In the first five years of my life I lived in five different houses, in four different cities/towns, in three different countries.
Skip has had a similar experience growing up too. The longest he has ever lived in one house is the one we currently live and we've only been here just over three years. In the 12 years we've lived together we've had eight homes. So neither of us has this sense of attachment to a house. We both have fond memories and sentiments for certain homes we've lived in, but we don't feel a need to hang onto the actual house itself.
I have to admit when I hear my friends talk about creating their family home, it makes me feel uneasy. Maybe I have a fear of commitment, but I don't like the idea of settling in one place for the next few decades. I want to live in different parts of the city, different parts of the country and different parts of the world. For me, I don't feel like I've grown or achieved if I've been planted to the one spot for too long.
I, personally, don't think I need a permanent dwelling to return to to feel like I'm 'home'. I think I can make my home wherever I feel comfortable and where there are people I love. For instance, my brother and his family live overseas in a town I've never been to and I'm fairly certain that if I went and stayed with them I would feel a sense of being 'home'. I guess I'm really just summing up that old cliche: "Home is where the heart is."
Funnily enough, Skip and I do dream about building our own home one day. Maybe it will be a holiday home though or maybe the urge to settle in one top spot will overcome me.
Do you have a strong sense of attachment to a place? Is there only one place that will be 'home' to you? Or are you a citizen of the world?
Image: freedigitalphotos.net
Posts
Wow, this is exactly how I feel. I feel that if I looked back on my life and had spent 30 years of it doing the same things in the same place, I'd feel like I wasted it. My husband has the opposite view. Cue main source of friction in our relationship...
ReplyDeleteHome is wherever there's a pillow to lay my head - but, that said, this house is my forever-house. I too thought I'd be happy to wander, but only a grande apartment in Paris could persuade me away {and probably only for a few years... then I'd come back home...}
ReplyDeleteI'm the opposite. I'm one of those gals who loves my home. My brother used to joke I like to get home to pat my furniture (not so sure about that.) My home, with my family, is my favorite spot in the world and its filled with all my favorite people and things. I'm passionate about making it a great/nurturing environment for my kids. It's my little patch of the world ..... I love to go out but I love to come home even more!!
ReplyDeleteWhen I was growing up I always imagined I'd have one family home but the older I've gotten the more I've wanted to have lots of homes and experiences. Maybe it's cause it's what I'm used. Or maybe when I find the perfect home I'll be happy to settle in the one spot.
ReplyDeleteOf the world. Even though I reign (wrong word? haha) in the One Horse Town at pres (which is where I grew up) I am no means here forever. In fact, that thought makes me shudder in my tracks. There is so much to explore - I am with you. I think attachment to a house is rediculous. To me 'settling down' is an old fashioned notion - but each to their own.... I have lots more homes to make
ReplyDeleteThanks for posting this, it's given me a bit to ponder and I've realised that I don't particularly like the idea of being bound to one place for 30+ years either. The notion of a "home" in a traditional sense is a peculiar one to me, some people have told me previously that I can't call where I live "home" because I don't own it. To be honest, I don't really know where I would prefer to live but I do know where I am now feels like home to me.
ReplyDeleteSarah - I find it astonishing that people say you can't call a place "home" because you don't own it. That would mean most of the world's population don't have a home!
ReplyDeleteI have owned and lived in properties I haven't called home.
Very true! It's a puzzling statement and I've never been sure how to react to it, I heard it again early last year from someone in the mothers group I used to attend. The last three places I've lived in, however, have all been "home" and I've loved living in all them (despite their various quirks!). I think whether or not a place is your "home" depends on how much of your personality you can put into it, whether you love the area etc. It has nothing to do with ownership as such.
ReplyDeleteI can make pretty much anyplace my home, as long as my daughter (and possibly Hubby!) are there, but I do feel a deep connection to the area whre I grew up, basically a "free range" child, riding horses throughout the valley, swimming in the dams and floating down the creek. Anytime I'm back in that area, I'm reflective and happy... and know exactly where I am.
ReplyDeleteHusband and I grew up as nomads...you know the type that went to oodles of schools and never really called a place their own.
ReplyDeleteMy kids have moved to a lot of places but they've all been within the same area so the kids have stayed in the same school.
That's our compromise. I get the itch to move all the time but for the kids, I want them to have an area they are familiar with.