A hired assassin has contacted me to let me know that there is a contract out on my life. Yes, someone is trying to kill me. All I have to do is give this hitman $30,000 and he'll spare my life. Apparently he has been watching me and decided that I'm innocent of the charges my would-be killer accuses me of. Goodness, who would've thought that someone would want to kill a blogging mother of two. Thankfully for me, the person who wants to rub me out hired a hitman with a conscience. He's told me not to tell anyone (I'm sure he won't mind if I tell you guys) and I'm not allowed after 7.30pm.
Now I don't have $30,000, but I have won a bit on the blogosphere lately, do you think he'd accept a cookbook, some movie tickets and a book voucher? Here's hoping.
Have a good weekend!
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Why don't you just pass on the details from your West African friends to the hitman and they can deal directly with each other, as that money was coming to you anyway, cut out the middle, err, woman. Perfect solution and you get to keep your life, but miss out on your Port Douglas retreat. Win some, lose some...
ReplyDeleteYou're brave for even opening those emails.
ReplyDeleteI am terrified they are viruses!
I'll wire over some cash if you need it....what would I do without being able to read your blog???
I'm totally in awe of your madly exciting life. Mine is filled with daily boredom -- but you, you're living a James Bond movie IRL.
ReplyDeleteMMMMMM.... Daniel Craig.........
Gosh,
ReplyDeleteAll I get are emails about penis enlargements. How come you're so lucky?
Well your in luck today seeing that I am being compensated by the United Nations $500,000.00 and someone in Nigeria has left me 36,000.00, I'll be happy to help you out!!
ReplyDelete