A real pearler

For a long time, I've lusted after a pearl ring. I love pearls, they're classic, feminine, unique. Their lustre, creaminess, their sheen. Ever since my brother brought me back a "pearl in can" from Hawaii when I was 10, I've been hooked. The fact that something so gorgeous can come from something so, well, unattractive. I love that they are naturally beautiful, they don't need to be fashioned, cut or polished.

I recently came into a sum of money and immediately knew what I wanted to do with it. I searched for the pearl ring I had in my head but nothing came close. They were all tizzy and not me. So, on Valentine's Day I stepped into my favourite jeweller and together we came up with a design I loved. Simple, classic and showing of the pearl.

Late on Friday afternoon, I got the call it was ready to be picked up. So, Saturday I dashed over and slipped it on my hand and I've been admiring it ever since. I love that I've given myself something so special and that one day, one of my girls will love it and wear it too. Maybe even one of my granddaughters.

Here it is:

Pork, champagne and scones

No words are necessary for playing along with Maxabella Loves Grateful Saturday....

This week, I'm grateful for:

Have a fantastic weekend!

Guest star appearance

I was brought up on a solid diet of TV in the '80s. First runs, re-runs, whatever, I loved it all. They just don't make telly like they used to. One of the parts I loved, loved, loved was when one of your favourite characters would drop into another show for an episode or two. Like the time Mork from Ork appeared at Arnold's in Happy Days. Or even better when Laverne & Shirley popped in to visit Ritchie and the Fonz. The Love Boat was always filled with 'special guest stars'.

Of course in the '90s the best episodes of Melrose Place were when they dragged Kelly from 90210 back so she could help boost their flailing ratings. Then there was when was The Young & the Restless/Bold and the Beautiful crossovers – the crazy Sheila caused such wonderful havoc on both shows.

This weekend I get to make my very own Guest Star Appearance. Yes, that's right The Daze of My Life is hitting the road. With none other than the fabulous Pink Patent Mary Janes. Where are we headed? We're going to visit the 'set' of my favourite BabyMac. Yep, we're going to actually stay in that gorgeous house you've probably read so much about.

I've heard whispers that there will be scones made by Bev herself. Possibly a trip to her famous local. There will be pork and Champagne. There will be a lot of laughter. I can not wait. Who knows, we may have our own spin-off blog?

What are you doing this weekend?

Playing grown ups

I struggle to realise some days that I'm a 34-year-old mother and wife. Most days I feel like a... ah well something a lot younger and a lot less responsible.

I chuckle to myself when I'm emailing as part of the parents committee at preschool. I think to myself, 'Do they think I'm actually a responsible parent? Able to be part of a committee? And like, make decisions?' I feel like a fraud. Yet, here I am. I even signed up to bake something for the welcome night tonight. Bake something. Me. Crazy world we live in.

Maybe it comes from growing up youngest in my family. I took on the role of not having to be responsible with gusto. Not that I'm irresponsible, of course, just that all this 'responsible' stuff always fell to someone else. Someone older.

I remember when Lil-lil was born, at about 2am we were shown our room, I was told to get into bed and go to sleep. The midwife started out the door and I was thinking 'They can't just leave me here with a baby. Surely we need some kind of monitor or something. I have no idea what I'm doing. This just isn't safe.'

Every step of the way, I've muddled my way through this parenting gig, thinking someone was about to tap me on the shoulder and say: 'You really have no idea what you're doing, do you?'

Even Goosey just asked me: 'Why are you playing with those clothes?' as I put a load of washing on. Even she can see that I'm just make-believing this grown-up family stuff.

Skip goes off to work in his suit, being a business man. The kids are running around. Tell me, how did I become a grown up?

The Wrong Stuff

 

This morning I caught myself singing The Right Stuff by New Kids on the Block as I did the dishes. I started 'Oh, oh, oh, ohhhhh oh.' so loudly the kids stopped and looked at me. Suddenly I was transported back to 1989, I was in year 7 and it was my turn to be school messenger for the day.

Now, I'm actually not embarrassed by my taste in music. I still like and play most of the tunes I've listened to throughout my whole life. I'm not one to fall for what's popular or in. Except there is this one blip on my music taste that went for about six months in 1989. I started buying Smash Hits every second week on my way to sport. I knew the Top 40 like the back of my hand. I started liking NKOTB. The shame....

This one memory that came flooding back today was me sitting at the desk where the two messengers of the day would sit and be sent out on any errand the school office needed doing. My partner on the job looked at my diary covered in pictures that I'd cut out of Smash Hits. There was Jordan, Donnie, Joey and Donnie (I hated the other one, whose name now escapes me). There were also pictures of a band called Wildland which were actually made up of friends of my brothers, but they had a single out at the time and I thought they were cool. Actually knowing people on the pages of Smash Hits was AMAZING!

At first my messenger buddy was nice and enquired about why I liked NKOTB. He then launched into a rant, bagging out my taste in music, telling me how lame NKOTB were. I, of course, defended my idols and insisted they were indeed musical geniuses. How could they be any else?

These days, that school mate makes a living in the music industry and I, well, I have realised NKOTB may not be the musical geniuses I believed them to be. Thankfully, my taste in music bounced back.

Do you have any embarrassing idols in your music cupboard?

It's snot good

After a pathetic week of blog posts last week, I was really pumped to get in here and write some interesting stuff. Maybe provoke a few thoughts, instigate a few laughs, procure a few tears.

The truth is I'm feeling sick. Sick as a dog. I woke up yesterday with a nasty cold and my enthusiasm has gone out the window.

So, with the eldest at preschool and the youngest at the library with Grandma, I'm going to sign off, take my germs, hit the couch and watch some crappy TV for the next hour or so.

See you tomorrow! Hopefully snot-free.

The artist

Lil-lil has recently developed a strange habit. I'm constantly discovering little pieces of what she calls "her work". Usually they're tied onto a door knob or handle. They have been tied on to the handlebars of her scooter or the back of a chair. It always involves little pieces of string, yarn or rope. Then she artistically attaches leaves, tissues, rubber bands, beads and any odds and ends she finds. Sometime it will involve a coathanger or a balloon. Whatever takes her fancy.

These art installations are popping up round the house at a fast rate. They keep her entertained for hours.

Here's a pic of one she did on Saturday night, what you can't see is it's attached by string to a balloon, her scooter and a toy golf club case. It was certainly one of her bigger pieces.

So, do you think we'll see her in the National Gallery one day?

Second chances, prizes and big talk

Ahhh Friday night. How I love thee. The whole weekend stretches out lazily before you. Full of promise, anything is possible for two sweet days. It's always been my most favourite time of the week.

It's been quite the week this week. Last week, all felt right with the world. This week, I feel completely and utterly out of sync. Why? I'm not sure. I'm sure I'll find my groove again soon.

Despite feeling a little wonky, I have a lot to be grateful for this week. So let's go!

* Second chances – no matter who you are, there will be some time in your life when you'll need a second chance. I think everyone deserves one. They are wonderful, because it's often hard to get it right the first time.

* Prizes – there are few things nicer than winning a prize. Today that always hilarious and sweet Mrs Woog awarded me a prize on her blog. Some 'Princess-y' stuff the girls are going to swoon over. It's good to know my sibling rough-housing was award-winning. It's even nicer to know the witty Mrs Woog thought I was funny, now that's the real prize.

* Big talk – If you've read my blog for a while, you'll know I hate small talk. I do, however, love big talk. Sitting down and having a real and honest conversation with someone. To talk openly, to listen to truth and really communicate. Nothing feeds the soul like it.

Have a wonderful weekend! Don't forget to play along with Maxabella's Loves I'm grateful for...

Friday frivolity

It's been a weird week. I've had a slightly heavy heart. I haven't felt inspired to write, so sorry for the silence. Not good enough, is it?

I couldn't end the week without a post though. With nothing really inspirational to write I thought a good laugh would be the tonic. No matter how blue I am, The Chaser's War on Everything always manages to make to me laugh. The Surprise Spruiker always managed to hit a chord, maybe because I've always been intrigued by bargain basement spruikers. (Why do they always have to be English? Why do they always repeat themselves? Why does it always have to go?)

So for a Friday funny, here's my one of my favourite Surprise Spruikers:



Have a good weekend.

Sliding doors

Image Miramax.

Life is funny. A week ago, I was talking about new beginnings, change, good timing and things feeling 'right'. Something in the universe clicked over the weekend and all those positive feelings vanished, with uncertainty taking its place. Uncertainty is something I seem to be very good at...

No one factor, event or person caused this to happen - just a general shift. Is it just a blip? I don't know.

I'm not a person who plans life, I'm generally happy to be dragged along for the ride. I'm not the kind of person to say this is how my life is going to be and then shape it to be that way. I'm the kind of person who'd be bored of the plan before I finished making it. Sometimes though this doesn't always work.

I love the concept of the film Sliding Doors – how life can veer dramatically by a small turn of events, a thoughtless action or a missed train.

Do you believe that you shape your own life or do you leave it up to fate or something else?

The right side of the tracks

Today was the first day since Lil-lil started preschool that Goosey was well and and we had no plans. After the preschool drop-off we looked at each other and said: "Well, now what?"

It's lovely having time to spend one-on-one with Goose. It's really the first time we've ever got to do it. The chance to just hang out and talk about the world. She gets the opportunity to talk without being drowned out by her sister. For me, it's lovely (plus it's soooo much easier just parenting one child for a few hours).

Today with a few free hours stretching in front of us, we went to our local train station and jumped on a train bound for the city. I used to do stuff like that with Lil-lil all the time before Goose was born, but I don't think I've done it since. Goosey loved it. The platform, choosing a seat, watching the world whizz by the window and seeing the people board and alight the train. She especially loved the tunnels as she could admire her reflection in the window.

The trip to the city and back was just long enough for her to get her fill. In the car on the way home she chattered away about riding the train. I'm so enjoying this special time together – just mother and daughter. It's long overdue for Goose. Now, to plan something for next week. Any ideas?

The little girls' room

Recently I decided it was time to transform the girls' room from a chaotic baby room to an organised little girl's room. I didn't want to spend too much money or do anything too drastic as it's likely we'll be moving this year, but I did want to make a space that they loved playing and sleeping in. Most importantly, I want them to feel like it was their special space.

So on request, here are some pictures of some of the little things I did to spruce it up:

Soft, white IKEA curtains that I'd girlied-up with some pink ribbon ties.

IKEA shelf to tidy up their toys and a place to put their doll houses.

IKEA heart rug.

A gorgeous quilt my aunt made for Lil-lil when she was born. I put it on the wall as it's too precious for the bed. My aunt has Parkinson's Disease so the fact she could make something like this blows me away.

An artwork Goosey's artist godmother did for her as a christening gift.

Ballet fairies flying up their cupboard door in a swirl of stars.

Hearts, flowers and your name up in lights

Tomorrow is that old Hallmark day of love – St Valentine's Day. I've never really been into Valentine's Day. Once or twice Skip and I have gone out for dinner, another time I remember a delicious duck dinner at home being interrupted by a non-sleeping, crying baby. Oh so romantic! Valentine's Day is the day my Grandma passed away, so I tend to remember that first. For some reason I also think about Picnic at Hanging Rock, but now I'm rambling. Tomorrow the day will probably pass without much notice in our house.

Of course, most days I'd love to prove my love to Skip by writing it in letters 10 feet high. Of course there are other days where I don't, but we won't mention them while I'm trying to lovey dovey. The people at Telstra are helping people declare their love in huge letters on the side of their flagship building in Melbourne. All you have to do is is text your name and the person you heart to 0437 464 646. They'll then send you an MMS of you and your love's name up in lights. Pretty cool, huh?

Check it out:

So there you go Skip, I do love you. The Telstra building says so. Happy Valentine's Day.

Event: Telstra’s Billboard of Love. 
Date: From Friday 11th to Monday 14th February (Valentine’s Day).
Time: The screen will be displaying love messages between 8.00am and 10.00pm.
Venue: Melbourne Telstra Store - 246 Bourke Street (Cnr Swanston & Bourke).

Good timing

Good timing is a beautiful thing.... (Remember this image??)

It's been a big couple of weeks in the Daze house. Tonsillectomies, starting preschool, job promotions, new work opportunities, new exercise programs. Amazingly we've all come out of it relatively unscathed. 

It's nice to be able to take a breather this weekend and look back on it all. Two weeks ago, I kept thinking "If I can just get through the next weeks, it'll all be OK". And look! Here we are on the other side. In one piece. Ahhhh.

Sometimes life is all about timing. Sometimes it feels as if something clicks into place and all the right things happen at just the right time. I love that feeling. It's like the gods are listening to you. It hasn't happened to me for a long time, so I'm really appreciating it.

So this Saturday, I'm grateful for....

* Timing. When timing works perfectly, it's a beautiful thing.

* Blogging. It has brought me amazing opportunities, a couple of good friends and a 'hobby' that I'm passionate about. It's also a brilliant way of getting through times like these. Blog through it!

* Preschool. It's put the biggest smile on my girl's face. I love seeing her create her own life.

* Skip's gift at getting the Goosey to eat and take her medicine. Being in a lot of pain, this hasn't been easy, but Skip has been so patient with Goose and made the process so much easier.

Join in with the lovely Maxabella Love's Saturday Grateful.

Unreal estate

Is there anything more depressing than looking for a new home? Oh, at first you're excited about looking at all these wonderful new properties. Picking and choosing from a vast array, narrowing down your choices to unearth your dream home. Then you realise everything is just a little bit too expensive, actually it's Sydney, so it's a lot too expensive. Your top pick of areas turns into 'Well I suppose I could live there, if I have to'.

Then you spot the perfect place online. This is it! You're so excited and ready to lockdown the deal. Then you go to the Open House. The spacious lounge is actually quite pokey and you didn't see the train line in any of the online shots. There's also a strange smell coming from a nearby factory.

Then you're back on www.domain.com.au. I've been looking for us and also for my mum. The whole process really sucks.

Endless Saturdays traipsing around 'Open for Inspections'. Seeing the same people at every house. Each week the desperation gets so thick it's suffocating.

Once you find a home that makes you smile, somewhere where you can imagine building a life, the tango with the real estate agent begins. The calls, the negotiating. The "Well, you better get your money on the table cause I've got another couple desperate to buy it," line. Or "You won't find a better house in this area for this kind of money".

Or else the house is going to auction. You go and get your building report done, get your finances in order and dream about your new home. Then at the auction, you're blown away in the first bid and the house goes for $150,000 more than the agent suggested it would.

Sigh. Maybe I can live in this tiny house just a bit longer.

Cup of tea, a Bex and a good lie down

If you have been reading for a while, you'll know I'm a tad obsessed with all things Mad Men. As the kids start to perk up from their quiet rest time and turn to me for some entertainment, I'm starting to wish I was Betty Draper and could tell the maid to take the kids to the park. Then I'd perch my perfectly coiffed head on the lounge, martini in hand and doze. Who knows, I may even pop a Valium or two to take the edge off. Like any good '50s housewife should be able to do on a Thursday afternoon.

What do you wish you were doing this Thursday afternoon.

The non-joiner

Lil-lil is loving preschool. She bounds out of the house every preschool morning ready and raring to go. It's a gorgeous little community-run preschool and I'm so happy we found it.

Except, last night, I found myself at a committee meeting. It's here I should tell you that I'm a non-joiner. Always have been. I've never been one for joining groups, clubs, committees or the like. I'm not really the leader/organiser type. I tend to prefer to fly solo or be part of non-organised slacker groups. I also come from a long line of non-joiners. I think it's possible my mum was allergic to the letters P & C. My dad would squirm at the thought of a group of 'amateurs' trying to run something.

It was one of those meetings where they were urging everyone to join and pitch in. Organise, lead the way, plan. So to find myself at such a meeting was a little confronting. I certainly felt out of place and a little cornered. More surprisingly, when they were talking about needing people to write and contribute to the website, I found myself raising my hand. Could it be? Am I actually a joiner deep down? Could this be the first step to running the P & C one day? What's next, tuck shop duty? Fundraiser organising? Running the cake stall? Am I going to be one of those mums?

Well, you can hold off the application for the CWA and the local tennis association, but a little bit of pitching in won't kill me. Will it??

Run Forest Run

Image: Paramount Pictures.

I always remember this quote from Back to the Future 3:

Saloon Old Timer #3:If everybody's got one of these auto-whatsits, does anybody walk or run anymore? 
Doc: Of course we run. But for recreation. For fun. 
Saloon Old Timer #3: Run for fun? What the hell kind of fun is that? 

This was exactly my thoughts, running is so not fun. I've never been a runner. It's just something that has never clicked with me. I've never (and I mean ever) just gone for a run or jog. 

Sure I've exercised, I've walked, done circuit training, aerobics, pilates, yoga, boxing, etc, but I've never run. The last time I remember running for the sole purpose of running (ie not running for a bus, or to catch a child) was at my year 5 athletics carnival, it was the 800m and by the time I saw the finish line, they had already started the next race. The shame and humiliation of that day made me swear off running ever since, that and the fact I could just not see any fun in it.

The past couple of months I've been looking for an activity to get me fit. I want to lose weight, get fit and have an activity that's just for me. I also wanted to give myself a challenge. 

Over and over in the blogging world I've come across people doing the Couch to 5km program. I would think 'Good on them, but that's not for me I don't run.' I even had a chat with Sharni from Sharnanigans when she was training for her 5km and she suggested I try it. I, of course, said: "I don't do running."

Any way this stupid Couch to 5km thing kept coming back to me. I started to think, "Hmm maybe I could do it." Then, "Wouldn't it be amazing if I could run 5km, imagine that, me the ultimate non-runner running 5km."

I think that last thought alone pushed me over line. So, yesterday with the program downloaded onto my iPhone, I hit a local park and did the first session. I completed it and I actually ran. This is a god-damned miracle (and no, I didn't throw up yet, Beth. Though I wouldn't rule it out).

While I still don't like running, I love the thought of being able to do it anywhere, anytime and for free. With the first session done, I'm now pumped and determined to finish this thing. I keep saying to Skip, "Wouldn't it be amazing, if I could run 5km. Me?!" 

Indeed, it would be. So watch this space.

Chuc mung nam moi

It's already February. I seem to be a bit slow on catching up with this whole 2011 business.

Around new year, there were a lot people talking about fresh starts, clean slates and hopes for the year. At the time I felt like I was too bogged down with stuff to think about the new year and dreams for the coming months. Then yesterday, as the cool breeze swooshed across Sydney and took the heat out of the sun, the weight I'd been feeling at the beginning of January lifted. Perhaps, it's my new year now. Perhaps I should just start going by the Chinese Lunar Calendar? I'm dead keen on Peking duck and spring rolls after all.

This morning I started my new exercise regimen, which I'm really excited about as I've given myself quite the challenge, but that's a whole other blog post, so stayed tuned. I also decided that I need to start seriously thinking about work. I have a bit more time on my hands and I want to get excited about something and stretch my mind a little. I still have Goosey at home full-time, but I'm sure I can squeeze in at least a day or two of work from home. 2011, the year of exciting challenges, me thinks.

So, let's get excited about 2011! Let's get it happening. Happy new year! Kung Hei Fat Choy! Chuc mung nam moi!

Hot

If you live anywhere near Sydney, you'll know how hot it has been this week. Bone-meltingly hot. Relentless and seemingly never-ending. Not fun, when you have a little one feeling poorly who has wanted to sleep right on top of you.

Yesterday, was about the hottest day I've ever known in Sydney. By 9am it was sweltering and we were all just puddles on the lounge. We decided to pack up Skip's work car, which has great air con and built-in DVD player in the back and hit the road. We could watch the city melt from behind our tinted windows. Perfect way to do something, keep cool and let Goosey rest in comfort (she's still not 100% from her operation).

We drove south out of town for a couple of hours and had lunch at the first air-conditioned place we could find (McDonalds). We then had a quick late afternoon dip at a gorgeous little beach we found. The sand was searingly hot and you could almost hear the droplets of water sizzle as they hit your skin. We headed home and at 6pm it was still 42 degrees (107 degrees F, for my US buddies).

The night was sweaty and long. A game of musical beds ensued as we all woke and swapped at regular intervals. Lil-lil woke and wailed: "It's so hoooooooot, mum." At about midnight I checked the temperature and it was still 33 degrees (91 degrees F). Ergh.
I think the mercury finally dipped at 5am to 27 degrees (81 degrees F) before slowly climbing again.

We hit Freshwater beach at 7.30am this morning for a quick dip and escape our swelterting home. It almost felt chilly even though it was pushing 30 degrees. Lil-lil sang a beautiful 'I need to do a poo!' song to the hundreds of beach goers. And Goosey fell asleep, exhausted from the heat and trying to recover. At least we were all cool.

So, this heatwave is supposed to end this afternoon and can I just say, about bloody time!

If you live in NSW, how have you escaped the heat this week?

True heroes

Like everyone else, I'm constantly inspired by people. Amazed by what they achieve and how they live their lives.

When I was three, I thought Snow White was it. Beautiful, the singing voice of an angel.
By the time I was seven, I thought Boy George was the best thing around.
At 13, River Phoenix and James Dean were perfection in my book.
At 15, The Beatles and The Doors were the greatest musicians ever. At 17, it was Nirvana.
At 19, wanting to be an Academy-award winning film director, I admired Hitchcock, Godard, Huston, Scorcese.

I've always admired writers, activists. People dedicating their lives to changing the world. People who achieve the extraordinary. I love reading biographies about the lives of people who have an amazing lives.

Recently, I've looked around me and noticed the incredible lives my friends and family lead. One friend is a talented artist who lives a positive life despite having a chronic illness. Another friend who has carved out a successful career in advertising, while always going out of her way for her friends and family. Another who has a PhD and a successful academic career while raising a young family.

I've recognised that my mum and dad aren't just 'mum' and 'dad'. My mum, who practically raised herself, went on to raise a family, support my dad as he travelled the world forging his career and then went on to have a career of her own when most people are thinking of retiring. My dad, has travelled and met incredible people and had amazing experiences. Taken risks and had an enormously successful career, all while staying dedicated to his passion of music.

This week, I've been blown away by the people who live under my roof. Lil-lil took on her new challenge of preschool with gusto. She was confident, calm, kind and excited. Her poise and demeanor was fabulous. I could learn a few lessons from her about how to face the world.

Then Goosey went into hospital and was the bravest little mite. She was scared, but never whinged, cried or fussed. Even after the operation, feeling poorly, she never complained. She was a trooper. Her bravery astounded me. I was even secretly impressed with her cunning when she tricked the nurse and hid the medication in the back of her mouth.

Skip has had a big achievement at work. All his hard work has paid off and he's gaining recognition for it. He has worked hard, waded through a lot of crap and made a career for himself that I don't think even he thought was possible (even if I did). I'm so proud at what he has done. I'm so proud of all my little family.

So, in a lot of ways, this is just a braggy 'aren't the people around me just the best' post. It's also a post to say, it's not just the seemingly extraordinary or genius people that can inspire you. I spent many years idolising people who I had never met, who were often dead. If you take a good look at your own life, you may just uncover true and real inspiration. It's the little everyday things – facing fears, working hard, taking risks, plugging on regardless, that make people extraordinary and life worth living.

Tully

When Skip and I travelled round Australia in 03/04, we saw many incredible places. The Eyre Peninsula, the South West, Kimberly, Kakadu, well you get the idea.

Out of all the places I've been, I have memories burned on my brain of a little part of Far North Queensland known as Tully and the spectacular surrounding area, the Misty Mountains Trails. We ate lunch in Tully before Skip and I drove on small tracks in the hills around the town and were gobsmacked. I clearly remember Skip saying: "Now, this is the kind of scenery I love." Rainforest, bubbling creeks, ferns and cool mist in the tropics. Skip kept jumping from the truck to capture it on the camera, but it never worked out as beautifully as real life. I think of that day often and the tranquility and specialness of the place.

It saddens me to hear that Tully bore the brunt of Cyclone Yasi last night. It's a gorgeous little town. I hope they can get back on their feet soon. Here are a couple of photos Skip took trying to capture Tully. Looking at these it's hard to imagine such a tranquil place being torn apart by wind and rain raging like a freight train.

Recovery

Home again. My little lady is sore and sorry-for-herself, but otherwise well. It's hard to be out of the hospital's lovely air con and into Sydney's heatwave, but we're stocked up with supplies of ice-cream, ice blocks, lemonade and jelly. And the most important soother – a selection of Disney movies.

I'll be laying low for the next few days, playing nurse. Helping my brave little Goosey to recover.

I'll also be holding my breath and crossing my fingers for the residents in Far North Queensland. One of my most favourite places in the world and an area where Skip and I (and our growing family) have spent many visits over the past six years. What they face tonight is terrifying. Stay safe.

Goosey in Port Douglas. 

Butterflies

Yesterday's first day at preschool went oh so well! Lil-lil turned up and said "I'm 4 years old, my mummy and daddy are leaving now, but mummy will pick me up this afternoon." My heart was bursting with pride. She was so confident and so at ease.

When I came to collect her, her eyes lit up and then her face dropped as she realised my presence meant she'd have to leave all her new friends and games behind. So preschool seems to be a hit for now, which I'm so happy about as I hated preschool, absolutely hated it. Just being in the preschool room yesterday took me back to all the horrible memories I have of preschool. I'm glad that it's a different experience for Lil.

Today is going to be another big day, in fact a much more challenging day. Poor little Goosey is being admitted to hospital to have her tonsils and adenoids removed. Yuck. The only childhood memory I have that is worse than preschool  is having my tonsils out. I vividly remember vomiting blood, a drop of water like razor blades on my throat and two weeks of feeling terrible.

Being a parent can really suck some times. Poor old Goosey has woken  up healthy and happy and yet I know this afternoon she's going to feel just terrible. Having to make decisions like this for your kids is absolutely the worst part of parenting. Rationally, I know that it's the best thing for her, her sleep apnoea will be cured and she'll sleep better than she ever has. Emotionally, I don't want my little baby to have to go through the trauma.

I'm lucky though, as she is a healthy child and this is a relatively minor thing. I can't imagine what it must be like for parents to watch their children in hospital, sick for months.

Still, the butterflies are thumping wildly in my stomach this morning.