When I started this blog, all of nobody read it. I really didn't mind as I didn't start it because I wanted readers. Somewhere along the way, I picked up a bunch of readers. A whole bunch of readers. Which is wonderful as it's opened up a whole new world to me and that completely took me by surprise.
As I picked up readers of the anonymous variety, more and more of the people I know in real life started reading, which feels odd. I'm not sure why, as I've always said I wouldn't write things that I wouldn't share openly with those around me. This has never been an anonymous vent hole. I do find though, as more and more people from the real world start to read it regularly, my writing has changed. There are some things I'm hesitant to write about, lest they get taken the wrong way or more is read into it than should be. Or it makes life uncomfortable for Skip or the kids.
This space has also changed for me and I'm not really sure what I want it to be anymore. Or even if it needs to be 'something', other than a random collection of my thoughts. I'm guessing it doesn't, but I feel like I'm finding my feet again. Finding that comfy groove where the words just pour out of my fingertips.
So, please, bear with me as I find my comfy spot again.
The other odd thing about people from the real world reading here regularly is the catch-ups when they see you for the first time in a few weeks and know most of what you've been up and so the conversation dies. I feel like I'm telling them a story for the first time, but they've already read it here. Then there's the awkward : "Yeah, I know. I read it on your blog." Or worse, they pretend that they're hearing it for the first time. I think this sentence alone has probably set up a few awkward conversations in my future!
If you're a blogger, do you find weird 'moments' of cross-overs from real life/blogger worlds? Do you hold yourself back because you know a 'certain' someone?
PS - Daniel, does this post count as a mention?
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ReplyDeleteI have to admit that's the main reason I'm a reluctant blogger/commenter these days. I feel I can't say what I really want to say and if I do, I rip it down quickly because I worry about being found out and misinterpreted.
ReplyDeleteSome of my work colleagues could find me (wouldn't be hard, typical librarians!). While I don't write things I wouldn't say to friends and loved ones in real life, I am forever worrying about who's out there reading and what they're reading into it.
P.S. Hello Daniel ;)
I completely relate to what you're saying. A lot of my friends read my blog and whenever we catch up, they already know all my news!
ReplyDeleteOh yes, absolutely yes. My blog started out as a way to keep friends and family overseas, up-to-date with my baby girl when we moved countries. I mean my Mother-in-law still reads my blog. Sigh. So I am also very confused about what kind of blogger I want to be going forward and am considering outing myself on facebook as a blogger. I think when faced with the dilemma, the best way to look at it is that you would only blog what you wouldn't mind a family member or friend reading even if you didn't intend them to see it. The whole issue about blogging about my children is probably a discussion for another day!
ReplyDeleteOh yes, that's the problem with good blog fodder. You write a killer post that's funny and witty and then you can never retell the story yourself because it's already been read. It is weird, that crossover. Fortunately I don't *think* many IRL people read mine.....
ReplyDeleteI'm fairly anonymous. Some of my mates have found me randomly after recognising photos of the kids, but I don't really share my blog address around. People might read it that I don't know about, but it hasn't come up. I don't think it would bother me, but I would definitley find the 'yeah, dont talk about it, I read it on your blog' bits a bit hard to take!
ReplyDeleteI guess when RL hits blog life the question isn't about how comfy we are with that (after all, we're the ones putting it all out there anyway), but about how comfy our family is! They might be cool when they are only known 'online' but once their friends start reading about them, they might not like that so much?
You'll find your groove. x
I actually love what my blog has done for my "real life". I can actually be quite a shy person and never realy offer my whole personality quite freely. On my blog, I can just be myself and those who read it are actually discovering a whole new me. It's been quite liberating - and I feel that I can now just be myself. I know that the people I do surround myself with, like me for me and not the conformist I may have originally been around them.
ReplyDeleteHope you find your real life groove soon enough :-)
Your timing is impeccable!
ReplyDeleteLast night, my husband gave his folks the web address to find my blog - not realising I had written a post entirely about them the day before!! It wasn't anything nasty, quite the opposite as I adore them - but it still feels a little awkward now - and I'm very aware that they're on the other end of the screen these days!!!
Hopefully your feelings at the mmoent are just fleeting and you'll feel free again to be you - or blogger you - whoever you want that to be.
I think chronic overthinking is the root of much evil!!! I'm very guilty of analysing, reflecting, reanalysing, reflecting some more... til everything you write sounds bloody stupid, rude, unclear, pompous etc. etc.
I have thoroughly enjoyed your blooging - for what it's worth! :-)
I am in the exact same spot and actually was thinking to myself the other day how there are so many people IRL that read my blog that I don't even much care for!!!
ReplyDeleteI gave up on Brookside because my father read it regularly and would email me,"I understand why you wrote a Happy Mother's Day post for your mom, but why not for my wife?"
Cause she's not my mom???? Duh!
Due to all of this sort of questioning, I have only spoken to him maybe 5 times since last May and not at all since this past Christmas.
That's not what blogging was supposed to do.
I have been trying to balance what I want for my STC blog, because while my life revolves around fashion 24/7, I am still a mom and wife.
In a way it's all about figuring out who we are all over again isn't it?
xoxo
Just don't stop blogging...we never would have met if it wasn't for the blogiverse!!!!
Thanks for the comments. It doesn't bother me that real life people read, at all. I was more surprised that I did feel a little guarded or cautious.
ReplyDelete