When we were away, I was aghast when I caught a glimpse of myself in my cossie. I looked like a large apple. A big round ball. No distinct preggo basketball bump, my whole body looked like a basketball. Skip assured me this is what happens every time I get pregnant, I'm not so sure. I just felt rather uncomfortable on the beach with my apple body. I usually love being pregnant. I don't not like it this time, I'm just not there mentally.
I'm not prepared for getting big. I'm not prepared for not being able to do everything. I'm not prepared for being slower. Most of all, I'm so not prepared for having another baby. Sleepless nights (well we still have those, but I can tell the kids 'shush and go to sleep'), crying, naps, nappies and all that biz. What the hell am I doing?? What the hell are we doing??
To be honest, being a mum to three kids is a scary prospect. Skip and I will be outnumbered and I won't have enough hands. The car is going to be very squishy. As is the dinner table. What if we have another non-sleeper (which is odds-on, I reckon)? How will this bundle fit into our life?
So, how do I deal with all the stress and angst? I just don't think about it. Pretend it's not happening. Complete denial. Healthy and sane, I know!
I know that once it's here I'll be besotted and things will just work out. After a couple of months, I won't be able to remember what life was like before. Let's face it, who is ever really ready for a baby? For the moment though, it's a scary, daunting prospect. So I'll keep denying. And when I struggle to do up my jeans, I'll blame it on the 1000s of Easter Eggs I've eaten... well, actually that may have something to do with it too.
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I was in denial and terrified with my first, but I know it was in part due to my young age. Second time around was so difficult that it permanently scarred us from wanting the 3rd.
ReplyDeleteYou will be just fine.
This was meant to be and you will be just as fabulous a mum to 3 as you are to 2.
And if you need any assistance, I cannot think of a better reason to hop a plane bound for Down Under.
I can play live in Nanny for you while you acclimate.
What do you think? ;)
I think complete denial is a very useful tool myself.
ReplyDeleteThere is no question of whether you will cope, you will, you have to and you will do brilliantly as you always have. You will not feel so, but if you have three healthy and mostly happy children you will be doing brilliantly.
One day at a time and that includes pregnancy - you just have to get through each day, try not to focus on the what ifs, the how ifs - they will just scare the crap out of you. Remember on those days when you think you can't cope someone else thinks you are doing a pretty fabulous job!!! xxx
hugs to you Corinne,
ReplyDeleteI can only imagine the fear you are feeling but you know what, you can survive it, you have already, non sleepers one day do sleep and nappies disappear.
just think of those wonderfuls cuddles, the sounds of a newborn, it's beautiful newborn smell (minus the vomit).
i'll all be good in the end, just enjoy being pregnant, enjoy the chocolate, the waddling around, well maybe that's a bit hard to enjoy ;).
you know what I mean, it's a little you waiting to be born, to be loved, no matter how squishy it is at the dinner table.
it'll be one of your best creations yet.
♥
I've got nothing to add to those fabulous comments above, apart from some hugs - and xx
ReplyDeleteIt's very interesting you say this Corinne, as a good friend of mine used to say the exact same thing while she was pregnant with her third baby. She was honestly, completely in denial. I think because her second was such a handful, she thought the third would break her. Her third has turned out to be the most easy going of the lot... AND I will add there, she is now pregnant with her fourth!
ReplyDeleteYou'll be fine, I'm sure of it. But let yourself live in denial for a while longer, after all who is it hurting!? :o)
I can relate. I kinda didn't pay a scrap of attention to my third pregnancy. It just sort of happened. You know what, they come into the world regardless! All will be well. x
ReplyDeleteI feel I can relate. I'm 4mths pregnant with my third, and whenever I think about a new baby arriving, it just seems so overwhelming and hard. So I just don't think about it much. I haven't even mentioned anything at work yet. My second was a terrible, terrible sleeper. I'll freely confess that I almost lost my mind when he was little.
ReplyDeleteStill, I know I'll love and adore this little one when they arrive. But it does make me a little sad that I haven't had that excited feeling where you just feel like you'll burst from happiness.
All i can say is that you are pregnant for 9 months for a reason, to get your head around it. I had 4 in 4.5 years, totally managable, it's your head space, you can do it, you kind of have to!! Love Posie
ReplyDeleteI don't know what to offer with being outnumbered etc as we went from 1 child to 3 in one go - but I understand your reservations... focusing on the positives sometimes they will play altogether but sometimes they won't - but everyone will find a common ground with at least one of their siblings, and even if they do pair off at any stage, you'll always have enough arms for the other one.
ReplyDeletePregnancy is luckily temporary - it probably won't hit you until you're looking at that bubba in the hospital - it hit me like that when I had no 2&3.
xxx
Ah, Corinne, you'll be fine. We had 3 in 3.5 years and yes, it's hard work but my, it's just divine when they start playing and interacting with each other. Seeing them have their private jokes and create their secret worlds is priceless. J x
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