I always wanted to stay home when I had kids. I imagined a life with plenty of time to do things. Play with the kids. Cook nice meals. Lunch at cafes. Take long walks at the parks. Find a new career, work on a new talent, find myself.
Some days are filled with nice things like that, but most are relentlessly busy. Five years on, I'm still surprised by it.
First and foremost, when there are kids in the house all day there is always something to clean, wash or tidy. It's like the Harbour Bridge by the time you get to one end of the house the other end needs tidying again. You've prepared and tidied up one meal and then it's time for another.
There's always piles of washing to do, hang out and put away.
Then there's preschool drop offs and pick ups.
There's always some kind of phone call to be made or chore to be done, which takes 50 times longer with a small child hanging off you.
This week there was a broken windscreen and a dead fridge to deal with.
Then there's shopping, mindlessly dull park visits, lunches to pack, bags to pack, bums to wipe, half-drunk cups of tea to clear, bills to pay, the list goes on.
The only thing I really do for me or that is solely about me is write this blog. Which is usually done while eating breakfast or lunch or, as I'm doing right now, pushing a swing (god bless iPhones!).
I don't mind this life. I don't resent it. Most of the time I enjoy it. Its strangely fulfulling. It's just I'm surprised that five years on I'm still surprised how relentless it is. The lack of time that I thought would be abundant to do things for me. Dreams of pursuing a dream or exercise or reading or anything else are still dreams. Or even to sit and dream is just a dream.
When I worked I had lunch hours or a commute to work to focus on myself. Now life is more about short snatches of time.
Life is infinitely more fun though, in a different way to I expected.
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Hi Corrine
ReplyDeleteLife is ridiculously busy isn't it!
you are managing very well I think - and your writing is wonderful - but I think with the new baby almost here;
you need to be very kind to yourself as there won't be a lot of time for much for a while.
Try to ease the pressure off yourself when you can
x
Loulou
It made me happy to read this.
ReplyDeleteI thought I only experienced the relentlessness because I keep pumping out new babies (3 in 3 years)!
Obviously it is just a mum thing - fulfilled, blessed, but always, always busy.
Oh dear lord, you couldn't have summed it up better for me Corinne. This is EXACTLY how I feel about the whole package. It is so RELENTLESS (I use that word to describe it often). I feel particularly suffocated at the moment, as I try to find my groove with working 2 days and being full time Mama for the other 5. I constantly have washing in the dirty laundry basket. I simply NEVER catch up. The house is never spotless and YES, there is always a meal to prepare, or clean up after.
ReplyDeleteBUT, I do adore being a Mama and if money were no concern, I'd still be home, doing it all 24/7. And I agree, there is no room for dreaming in this league xo
I hear you Corinne! I remember when I returned to work part time a (childless) colleague asked if I had a chance to catch up on my reading while I was on maternity leave - it was all I could do not to slap her! :)
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