I went back to the hospital today as I do every Tuesday to have a check up. When I went today and saw all the familiar faces it felt weird. Some people nodded, some smiled and said hi, others walked past not noticing me. Which is weird when someone has cared for you in such an intimate way, but hey, they see and care for hundreds of people.
It's six weeks today since I was admitted to hospital and six weeks tomorrow since D arrived unwillingly in the world. For the first few weeks, my mind could not stop going over and over and over the events of those few days. Trying to absorb and process it all. It was such a shock. It didn't feel real. It felt like maybe I had over-dramatised in my head, maybe it hadn't really happened. Slowly I've begun to stop the thoughts from whirling in my mind.
Slowly my body has healed from the trauma. Just until a few days ago, the soreness of my stomach was still there lingering, the headaches from the high blood pressure were too. Now, I'm feeling stronger. I look at D and he's getting bigger and chubbier. I can barely think of him as that tiny being on a ventilator.
I've begun to block out that whole month. Like it never existed. It's weird.
On the weekend I kept saying things like 'Oh when such and such happened a couple of weeks ago." And then realising that it was actually a couple of months ago. It's like now normalcy is starting to return, those few horrible hard weeks are being erased. Maybe it's just my mind healing too.
When you have a baby, they tell you it takes about six weeks to recover. I'm amazed that it's true.
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You're so right ...
ReplyDeleteI work in mental health nursing at the minute, & I have literally cared for people after their failed suicide attempts etc. and so the level of my care is really quite intimate.
So sometimes, when I see these patients later on, & they seem happier & healthier, it ... really touches me. That they can go from so un-healthy, to completely healthy.
And I guess that's when I feel like my job is done :)
And the rest is up to them ... :)
You have been through SO much, & your recovery is remarkable. You really should be so proud of both yourself, & your little man :)
xx
Wow, six weeks... It must seem so surreal as this wasn't where you thought you'd be - but you're here now, and I'm glad things are looking up. xx
ReplyDelete6 weeks was such a milestone for me each time. Congrats on getting here given the hard way you traveled. x
ReplyDeleteHello Corinne
ReplyDelete(an overdue check in)
I know that land of time - where it is completely vacant and mixed up as to what day it is and how long ago.
great to hear you are "getting there" and Mr D is getting stronger :) I can't wait to meet him one day.
take care lovely lady
x
Loulou
COngrats on making it to this important milestone. I felt like less of a novice, both times, at 6 weeks. It's such a good feeling. You should be proud of the little guy, and yourself. xx
ReplyDeleteOh bravo, Corinne. You've had such a trial to endure. In another 6-8 weeks, the newborn phase will be over and your normalcy will take on a whole new form. Hang in there, my friend! J x
ReplyDeleteI so agree Corinne, the 6 week mark is quite the milestone and SO MUCH happens in that first 6 weeks. Now for you, I think it's doubly incredible to get to, because of the complications you endured. You have really had a tough time and you should certainly celebrate your strength of body and mind. Maybe a little dash to the shops and pick up something nice for yourself!? ;o) You SO deserve it :o)
ReplyDeleteAnd I know what you mean about seeing nurses or dr's who cared for you so tenderly, then they don't remember you. Poor buggers, for them it's just another face in the crowd, but at least they leave a good lasting impression on us xo
6 weeks already???
ReplyDeleteWow...time does fly!
I'm relieved that all is on the "up & up" and just send love and hugs.
As always.
xoxo
Well done, you!!
ReplyDeleteIn every repect.
I hope you continue to grow stronger with that beautiful little boy of yours.
:-)
Wow. Six weeks already!
ReplyDeleteAfter my first son's birth, my mind took a while to heal too. I couldn't stop thinking about the intensity of the labour and then his heart rate went down and...a little drama. Nothing too big, but it stuck with me.
Glad to hear all is going so well!