First day nerves

So the day has finally arrived. Lil-lil's first day of school. Despite a bit of anxiety on her part she did great. I've never been prouder of her. She's grown into pure delight.

Me, on the other hand, well I didn't realise just how anxious I was until we were there. I feel a little like I'm throwing my baby into the ocean and yelling 'Swim!' from the shore. A little dramatic, I know.

After we kissed her goodbye, Skip and I  (and Goose and D) walked out into the playground. Skip urged me to go the parents morning tea that was being held as he raced off to work. "It's like the first day for both of you," he said as he ran off in the rain.

Sighing, I pushed aside every feeling telling me to run and headed to the morning tea. I'm socially inept. You will meet me and think I'm a normal person, but walking into a room of people I don't know and having to initiate a conversation with them? My absolute worst nightmare. I'd rather have root canal done. Seriously, I would.

I walked into the room and stood awkwardly as the parents mingled. I watched Goosey inhale the P&C's entire 2012 biscuit budget as I surreptitiously tried to spy an opening in a conversation. Some where. Any where. I stood there feeling like I was floundering. Hating every single moment. I started to wonder why they had morning teas with crap instant coffee and biscuits to break the ice between parents. Surely wine and karaoke would do a better job. Well, for me it would. Give me wine and karaoke and I would be the life of the party. Biscuits and coffee and I'm the awkward idiot wondering how long I have to stand there before I can leave.

After hovering in the corner, I spied a mum I'd spoken to briefly at the Best Start Assessment. She had no friends either and stood looking around. I caught her eye and then we chatted and chatted. We even swapped numbers. Then another mum I know from the hood (who I didn't know was starting her girl) came up and suddenly I almost looked popular. Almost.

I left feeling brighter. This school lark just might be OK. I just hope Lil-lil finds a buddy to hang on to today too.