Anticipation

The sunrise this morning. The calm before the storm.

Anticipation. It's a weird thing. It can be exciting. Scary. Wonderful. Dreadful.

Some times, it feels like you live your whole life in anticipation. Of something. Anything.
Maybe life is actually just anticipation of the next thing.

There's a severe weather warning today for Sydney. As the meteorological guy on the radio said yesterday, it's one we'll remember weather wise for a while. Yet, for most of the morning it's been a glorious day, blue skies and sunshine. Despite this there's electricity in the air, anticipation. As I type, the clouds are rolling in and the wind is starting to bluster.

Lil-lil has her very first school excursion today and to say she's excited is an understatement. As we pulled up to the front of school and she saw the bus waiting she nearly jumped out of her skin. "We're not doing school work all day! It's going to be so fun!" She doesn't know what to expect, but this she knows it's another first in a year of big firsts. I think the excitement she felt this morning will be more thrilling than the day itself.

Then there's that type of anticipation that churns your stomach. You try and imagine what it's going to be like. Feel like. But you're clueless. It's like clunk, clunk, clunking up a roller-coaster and you hit that point where the ride is really about to start. Your stomach rises up. There's no way of jumping off. You don't know if it's going to be exhilarating. Boring. Wonderful. Scary. Dreadful. Disappointing. All you can do is close your eyes, clench your fists and go with it. The anticipation is so thick it envelopes you, almost lifts you up off your seat.

We've got a whole heap of balls up in the air at the moment. Who knows where they're going to land. If they're going to land. Are the going to create a dent or a crater or not be felt at all? I hate not knowing. I always want to flip to the last page and see what happens. Anticipation. It's a beautiful, torturous thing.