Dinosaur

When I was 15 or so I watched a new TV series called Twin Peaks. Oh my goodness, how could a TV series change your life. When you're 15 everything changes your life. A song, a band, a movie - all of it makes you feel alive, makes you feel like you're living life in the world for the first time. No one has seen the world this way before you think.

My mum is here at the moment, helping me with the kids during the school holidays. Goosey was telling Grandma about Bruno Mars and just how amazing he is. She played a song of his to share and then she put on the Beatles and danced with equal gusto. My mum reminisced about the first time she heard the Beatles and how an older neighbour pined about just how terrible they were with their long hair and the racket they played.

Life is the same. But different. The kids listened to my mum tell about being their age and lighting the stove for dinner when she got home from school and walking to the outhouse in the dark and cold. They were horrified! Kids are much different today they said. Not so much, she replied. They still have the same worries and insecurities and fun and moments.

The new Twin Peaks is back on the box and I was so excited. I wanted to pick up where I left off. I wanted to have that feeling I had when I was 15. Except, I'm not 15 anymore. As much as I want to love it, it's darker and heavier and less innocent. There are more distractions. It's not the same. Neither am I.

The past couple of weeks, I've realised that I miss a time when there's no iphones or texts, or social media or streaming or binge watching. When you went out, you went somewhere and hoped you ran into people. You met up and talked. You waited a week to watch a show at a certain time, along with everyone else. News was news, because they didn't have to update endlessly. You waited to hear a song on the radio or you went to a store to buy a CD. Got excited to feel that crisp magazine cover in your hand and couldn't wait to get home to open it. Got excited by the prospect or something. The experience wasn't diminished by reading a review online as you walk in. Life felt more adventurous. When you're alone, you're alone. The moment was far easier to live in. Much less distraction.

I realise that makes me a dinosaur, but I'm OK with that. Actually I feel lucky to know what it's like to live without being ruled by device. To dream about what might be and not worry about what's not important.

I'm the mean mum who (for the moment) won't let my kids have iMessages and the like. But they can have their holidays doing exactly what they're doing and I know that when they see their friends on the first day back at school they'll have that exciting moment where they can swap stories and laughs. And that to me is precious.